For delivery on Tuesday, November 25th, order by Wednesday, November 19th at 11:59 pm EST
20 Meal Plan – Mayday Meal Plan (Nov 25th)
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20 Meals – You pick ‘em. We cook ‘em. You pretend you had your life together all along.
0 out of 12 Meals
Because You F’d Around and Now You’re Finding Out… You’re Hungry.
This isn’t a “meal plan.” This is a goddamn rescue mission. You’ve clearly lost control — your diet’s in free fall, your fridge looks like a hostage situation, and your willpower tapped out three drive-thrus ago.
That’s when you call a Mayday.
And lucky for you, our firefighter chefs don’t ignore that shit. The Kitchen Command System (KCS) flips into full-blown emergency mode — pans clanging, timers screaming, and someone shouting “GET THAT MAN SOME PROTEIN!”
The result? 20 meals built to drag your sorry, starving ass back to civilization before you start chewing through a pack of expired ramen.
WHAT’S INSIDE (AKA YOUR REDEMPTION ARC):
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20 Meals – You pick ‘em. We cook ‘em. You pretend you had your life together all along.
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Ingredients You Can Actually Pronounce – Because “dimethyl-something” isn’t food, it’s a science experiment.
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Scratch-Made, Never Frozen – Frozen food is for breakups and blackout nights.
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New Menu Every Week – Because we know commitment issues run deep.
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No Bland Bullshit – Every bite hits harder than your lieutenant’s “motivational talks.”
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Organic Ingredients – We let food grow in dirt, not labs.
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No Seed Oils – Because you’re not a lawnmower.
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100% Grass-Fed & Pasture-Raised Meats – No hormones, no chemicals, no Frankenstein cows.
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Wild-Caught Seafood – From the actual ocean. Not “Aquarium of Sadness Farms.”
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A Whole Lot Less Stress – You’ve got 99 problems, but dinner ain’t one.
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Our 100% Commitment – If you’re not happy, we’ll roll the truck and feed you till you are.
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No Plastic – Because microplastics belong in Barbie, not your bloodstream.
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Free Delivery – We’ll show up like food ninjas. Pants optional.
REAL TALK:
This box is for the firefighter who hasn’t seen their kitchen since the last power outage.
For the nurse who eats standing up.
For the dad who thinks ketchup counts as a vegetable.
For the badass who works too damn hard to eat like a raccoon.
Call the Mayday. Admit defeat.
We’ll haul your ass out of the hunger inferno and drop you straight into food heaven.

We only use the highest-quality ingredients.
Our firefighters use only the highest-quality ingredients to deliver the freshest, healthiest, cleanest, and most nutritious meals. Our food is:
- 100% Grass-Fed & Pasture Raised Meats
- Wild Caught, Never Farmed Seafood
- Hormone & Antibiotic-Free
- Additive & Preservative-Free
- Fresh Locally-Sourced Produce
- Fresh Organically Sourced Spices
- Small Batch Homestyle Cooking
- Allergen Restriction Compatible
Life-saving Nutrition to avoid a Mayday call: A Message from the Chiefief
Let’s get one thing straight — this isn’t a pep talk. This is a wake-up call.
If you can’t figure out how to feed yourself like a functioning adult, you’re not a hero — you’re a hazard.
We’ve all seen the guy who runs out of gas halfway through a fire because his diet consists of gas station burritos, caffeine, and regret. Don’t be that guy. Nobody’s writing a medal citation for the firefighter who passed out because he skipped breakfast.
Here’s the cold truth — your body doesn’t care about your excuses. You either fuel it right or you fail it hard. And when you fail your body, you fail your crew. You’re not just risking your health; you’re risking theirs.
Let’s review the basics since apparently, some of us need a reminder:
🔥 Plan Ahead – If “meal prep” sounds too complicated, congratulations — you’ve officially admitted that sandwiches are smarter than you.
🔥 Stay Balanced – Lean protein, whole grains, veggies. It’s not rocket science. It’s literally called eating like you give a damn.
🔥 Hydrate – Coffee isn’t water. Energy drinks aren’t hydration. If your blood type is Monster, we’ve got bigger problems.
🔥 Be Consistent – Eating one good meal and then living on beef jerky for three days doesn’t make you disciplined; it makes you lazy with seasoning.
The Fire Dept Meals Mayday Plan exists because some of you can’t be trusted to eat right without supervision. We built it to keep you alive, focused, and ready to perform — not to bail you out after your third drive-thru “dinner.”
This isn’t optional. You wouldn’t show up to a fire unfit, untrained, or unprepared — so don’t show up underfed. A hunger Mayday is a self-inflicted wound, and we don’t rescue people from their own bad decisions twice.
Lead by example. Eat like a professional. Or don’t — but remember, the Chief’s patience isn’t infinite, and I’m not above firing myself if I ever pull this nonsense.
Stay fueled. Stay sharp. Stay employed.
— The Chief
What’s in your box of redemption:
- 20 Meals – Properly portioned, chef-prepared, and judgment-free (for now)
- No Plastic – Because we have standards, unlike your last midnight snack
- Ingredients You Can Pronounce – “Sodium Poly-Whatever” doesn’t live here
- Scratch Made, Never Frozen – Like the old days, before everything came in plastic
- 100% Grass-Fed, Pasture-Raised, Antibiotic-Free – Real meat for real firefighters
- Organic Ingredients – Because you can’t out-train chemicals
- Wild-Caught Seafood – Nothing raised in a tank should end up in your body
- Zero Excuses, Zero Stress – We’ve handled everything but your attitude
- Commitment – From our kitchen to your plate, every damn week
- Free Delivery – Because even heroes deserve one thing easy
Need help choosing? Call us. But fair warning — if you say, “I’ll just grab fast food,” we might just send a termination letter with your next box.
Meal Box Subscribers, please note:
- Your initial order is charged, and your first renewal order is billed the Thursday of the week following.
- We automatically bill for your meal box subscription on Thursdays at 8:00 am.
- Every week, you should plan to update your meal selections by Wednesday at 11:59 pm. We will remind you, but if you miss the deadline, our chief will pick a variety of meals that match your box, considering your dietary restrictions.
Subscription Renewal and Delivery Schedule
| Join Date | First Order Delivery/Pickup | First Auto-Bill | Second Order Delivery/Pickup |
|---|---|---|---|
| Today | Tuesday, November 25th | Thursday, November 27th at 8:00am EST | Tuesday, December 2nd |
| Saturday, November 15th | Tuesday, November 25th | Thursday, November 27th at 8:00am EST | Tuesday, December 2nd |
| Sunday, November 16th | Tuesday, November 25th | Thursday, November 27th at 8:00am EST | Tuesday, December 2nd |
| Monday, November 17th | Tuesday, November 25th | Thursday, November 27th at 8:00am EST | Tuesday, December 2nd |
| Tuesday, November 18th | Tuesday, November 25th | Thursday, November 27th at 8:00am EST | Tuesday, December 2nd |
| Wednesday, November 19th | Tuesday, November 25th | Thursday, November 27th at 8:00am EST | Tuesday, December 2nd |
| Thursday, November 20th | Tuesday, December 2nd | Thursday, December 4th at 8:00am EST | Tuesday, December 9th |
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